Primary Four: A Misadventure At the Canal
submitted by Dilan, Primary 4, Practice
Thank you, Dilan, for your composition!
Below is the original composition received.
For the comments & suggestions, please scroll down.
Below is the original composition received.
For the comments & suggestions, please scroll down.
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First impressions...
The composition looked promising as Dilan had used a wide range of vocabulary to lay out the setting and introduce his characters. However, as the story develops, there were a number of noticeable errors and these errors gravely affected the overall development of the story.
The composition looked promising as Dilan had used a wide range of vocabulary to lay out the setting and introduce his characters. However, as the story develops, there were a number of noticeable errors and these errors gravely affected the overall development of the story.
I really hope that Dilan can be more careful when writing. He obviously reads widely and has an interest in writing. Unfortunately, his carelessness has resulted in a piece of work that does not reflect his true potential.
Try again, Dilan! I really look forward to reading your next piece of work!
I hope my feedback and suggestions can be useful to both you and your peers!
Try again, Dilan! I really look forward to reading your next piece of work!
I hope my feedback and suggestions can be useful to both you and your peers!