Primary Two: Riding A Bicycle
submitted by Sophia, Primary 2, Final Draft , Class Assignment marked & assessed
COMPOSITION EXERCISE (Final Draft)
This composition was written by a Primary Two child as a class assignment.
Write a composition based on the pictures below. Your story should be at least 100 words. You may use the following helping words:
gentle breeze patient in seventh heaven accomplishements
This composition was written by a Primary Two child as a class assignment.
Write a composition based on the pictures below. Your story should be at least 100 words. You may use the following helping words:
gentle breeze patient in seventh heaven accomplishements
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the question above. If the original author would like the question to be removed,
please contact me and it will be removed immediately. Image provided by Sophia's mother, used here for learning purposes only.
please contact me and it will be removed immediately. Image provided by Sophia's mother, used here for learning purposes only.
Thank you Sophia, for your work!
As the image of your composition received is not really very clear, I've typed it out so that it can be seen clearly here.
I hope that's okay with you! : )
As the image of your composition received is not really very clear, I've typed it out so that it can be seen clearly here.
I hope that's okay with you! : )
This is the original text.
Click on the '<' on the left of the screen below to collapse side menu (if any). Double click last icon to open in a new window.
Click on the '<' on the left of the screen below to collapse side menu (if any). Double click last icon to open in a new window.
At First Glance:
Great Job!
I think you write really well for an eight-year old girl! Do you read a lot?
You have used a number of descriptive phrases appropriately. You also included dialogue in your composition. This makes the story lively and adds personality to your characters. Good! One of the things I like most about your writing style is that you describe tiny details which are often ignored by younger writers like yourself. E.g. "Sam took a deep breath..."
However, there are a number of spelling mistakes! Did you check your work after writing?
Checking your work is just as important as planning and writing it!
I will discuss more about how you can improve on this composition in a short while.
Great job & I hope to see more of your work here at I Can Write Too!
Great Job!
I think you write really well for an eight-year old girl! Do you read a lot?
You have used a number of descriptive phrases appropriately. You also included dialogue in your composition. This makes the story lively and adds personality to your characters. Good! One of the things I like most about your writing style is that you describe tiny details which are often ignored by younger writers like yourself. E.g. "Sam took a deep breath..."
However, there are a number of spelling mistakes! Did you check your work after writing?
Checking your work is just as important as planning and writing it!
I will discuss more about how you can improve on this composition in a short while.
Great job & I hope to see more of your work here at I Can Write Too!
Below is the Comments & Notes.
Click on the '<' on the left of the screen below to collapse side menu (if any). Double click last icon to open in a new window.
Click on the '<' on the left of the screen below to collapse side menu (if any). Double click last icon to open in a new window.
Keep up the great work!!!